Friday, October 28, 2005

A non-gender discriminatory WARNING: This post is about diarrhea

I've spent most of my adult life constipated. Not something I'm particularly proud of, but a fact of my life it remains. I've been running now for a little over a year and am training for my 4th marathon. One of the side effects has been abnormally frequent intestinal evacuation. Don't be fooled, I'm still plagued with this illustrious constipation - all day, all the time . . . except when . . . I'm half way into a run - my intestine start that ohhh, sooo familiar cramping and spasming. Now, I know why runners get diarrhea, what I don't know is - how do you make runner's diarrhea stop? I don't love nature that much.

Oh, btw, speed work sucked this morning and my body is rebelling. 3 800's and 3 400's (i think) - slow - no no no, not speedy. Should I odometorize that distance?

And, at the risk of being bitch-slapped by my sister, I'm posting my weight again for a while: 129.6 today.


Blogger ~The Modern Tragedy said...

to become unconstipated drink alot of teas that are natural diaruetics( spell check)

9:31 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

Who is that tennis player who was really talented and pretty, but grunts when she hits a ball and the sports guys made such a fuss about it?

Because you are TOTALLY that girl. You look so tiny and cute running and then there's a post about diarrhea.

Incidentally, "illustrious constipation" is my new favorite expression.

9:43 AM  
Blogger Cliff said...

I think God give u a solution for your constipation...running :)

I know I have a calling to go to washroom whenever I go for a long run. Everytime I have to go (yes, number 2), there is a washroom nearby. Coincidence? I think not :).

Have you try eating more fibres, fruits and veges?? My diet right now, I have no problem with constipation.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Thomas said...

If you're constipated all the time, have a look at your diet. You might want to up your fruit and vegetables input for a while, it might help.

10:30 AM  
Blogger The Spandex-King said...

Keep working on your speed work. If you can double your speed you will be home in time to go. Just kidding. Actually, I have no idea what to do about a problem like this. Good luck. Oh yea and that post about cold and 52.The next time it's 52 up here in Wisconsin I'll be bicycling with out a shirt on. Take Care
The King

10:40 AM  
Blogger Donks said...

Your blog is cracking me up. Being a life long runner, it’s interesting to read your perspective. I think that by our nature runners are neurotic...pain/pleasure it’s all the same to us.

10:50 AM  
Blogger Flatman said...

Even with the disclaimer...I have to read. You know the train-wreck philosophy (you just have to look).

There are some women in my family (who will remain nameless for heaven's sake), who have the exact same problem. If it gets too bad and running doesn't help, try grease. Yes, I said it. The women I know eat at Long John Silvers (or some greasy equivalent) to ease the evacuation. Scary, but ut seems to do the trick!

My God, it took me longer to type the word verification than it took me to type this whole response!

11:10 AM  
Blogger Thomas Sørensen said...

Don't worry about runners diarrhea. We all get it in unfortunate situations. Read my blog post form this morning and you will see.

12:51 PM  
Blogger Mia said...

It's all about the diet. I too was plagued by the mid-run squirts until I quit eating dinner and started drinking coffee before my runs (no pun intended there). That'll clean you out - the coffee. I don't recommend the not eating of the dinner though, you just have to find something easy on the tummy.

1:17 PM  
Blogger Flatman said...

"mid-run squirts"...there's a term you don't hear in passing much...

1:19 PM  
Blogger sarah said...

susan, you have the nicest poop ever.

does that count? =D

i'm not sure how to solve the running/constipation/diarrhea problem. sometimes fiber helps and other times it just impacts everything. i'm not sure you wanted to hear that, but it is on topic.

1:49 PM  
Blogger Jennifer P said...

Mid-run squirts! That's so gross but the funniest thing I've read in ages!

Y'all know I have my own intestinal difficulties and I'm luckily medicated for mine. If you find a solution to the C maybe a solution for the D will come up. Have you seen your GP about this?

To avoid the runs on your long runs, try some Immodium. It's always worked for me.

2:38 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

3:01 PM  
Blogger Flatman said...

Now that's funny, Amy!

110" waists!?!?!?!?!

4:08 PM  
Blogger David said...

Darn it, Amy. You beat me to it.

Your problem DEPENDS on what you eat or drink. Coffee is a nice diaruetic (Spell check). So is chocolate I think. Maybe cocoa. Then again, you can go to my old stand by - bourbon, although I think beer is more effective.

Heck I never gave birth to a kid so I have no concept of regular constipation. My condolences. Maybe somebody else from CT can shed some light on the subject.

5:40 PM  
Blogger Mia said...

Scarey stuff here. It's killing me.

6:40 PM  
Blogger D said...

Immodium ~ a prelong run requirement. I never had issues until running marathons. My rule is if I am going 10 miles and over - I take an immodium.

Orange juice is good for constipation!

I can't believe I actually talk (type) about this

Your weight is great!

8:11 PM  
Blogger taskette said...

OH. MY. GOODNESS. This is funny. I, fortunately, have yet to run into that problem, so I have no advice. But, I hope you find something that helps. Because I can not imagine how much that just really sucks!

10:58 PM  
Blogger Yvonne said...

Dear Funny Susan. I have the solution to your constipation problem. Unfortunately, you will have to make a trip to Queens, NY to get it.

The chair I am sitting on right now, our cheap swivel Ikea office chair, is the miracle cure for constipation. It took my husband and me a while to make the link, but we recently realized that if you sit on this chair for just 10 minutes, you will need to poo - urgently! It doesn't matter if you just poo'd a half hour before, it doesn't matter if you've been constipated for a month. This chair is guaranteed to have your running to the loo - pronto. It must be something to do with the angle it tilts your guts at, or something. I wish I could rent it out, I really do.

That's a relief (pardon the pun), I've been dying spread the word about our chair, but have just never found the appropriate outlet.

12:13 AM  
Blogger CJ said...

A runners life can be so ......interesting! Imodium is used by a few people I know and in the past I've relied on that medication.

3:13 AM  
Blogger jeanne said...

I have the same problem!! But ONLY on days when I have to run long (that would be the C problem). My solution was to get up really early, and drink tea, and read blogs, bcs that's when it needs to happen at work.

Btw, that solution? it never worked. So then I started eating brown rice and lots of veggies the night before, early, and taking care of that little thing before bed. So that worked. Sort of.

But at least i never got the runs during a run...arghhh!

10:06 AM  
Blogger Mia said...

If all else fails to cure the "illustrious constipation," try strolling around in a Hallmark store looking at cards, for some reason that ALWAYS works for me.

12:26 PM  
Blogger thealphafry said...

that's why i like your blog. you're not afraid to say things!

3:42 PM  
Blogger Rae said...

Too funny! I have had that problem a lot in the past. For long runs I started taking bromelein (a supplement) and that helps. Also, I don't drink Gatorade and a sip of soda before a long run helps me, too.

2:24 PM  

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